Trying something new on this blog, for a change. Been getting more interested in mental health/ self-improvement lately, so I thought it’d be fun to “interview” at least one of my friends and get their perspective on the subject. Thankfully, my friend Ken was up to the task!
So without further ado, here’s my interview with Ken:
1.Like me, you grew up living in different countries. How much would you say that has informed your personality?
On one hand it really shaped my character. On another, it didn't at all.
No matter what country I was in, I was always an outsider. People's comments and the way they treated me made it very evident. I could argue that regardless of other people's opinions I belonged to multiple countries, but I will not.
The truth is that I am different than what any cultural stereotype could describe. I can't be boxed into classifications.
The best way to describe it is that I am from myself, not really from any country. It makes me less biased and more independent in some ways.
2.We've talked about both trying to become more introspective as we age. On that basis, when you think to yourself and are deep in thought, do you process thoughts in English or Spanish? Does it depend on the topic? I only ask because English isn't your first language, so I'm curious. Do you process thoughts in English more now that you've been here in the states for over a decade?
Many of my thoughts are based on feelings. If I feel guilt, for example, sometimes I don't think in a language but rather on emotion.
But, for the times when I do think in a sort of inner monologue, English has become more prevalent. I think this happened even before I moved to the states. I went to an American high school abroad and so I was made to think critically in English.
From time to time I do think in Spanish, but I do so more intentionally to remain in touch with my roots.
3.We've also both talked about struggling with having bad flashbacks that could stem from any point in our pasts. When that happens to you, what kind of "reactions" do you have? Do you twitch, curse out loud, etc. like I do? If so, what's your coping mechanism(s) for that, if you have any?
Sometimes bad memories come rushing in.
They can involve times I screwed up or times when I was wronged by people. I tend to tense my body when this happens. I sometimes also blurt something out loud. Funny enough, I sometimes blurt a random word that has nothing to do with the memory.
My best response for these events is to understand what is the category of the memory I had.
1)They are a memory of something I have already resolved internally and I need to move on.
2)I still haven't found the answer as to what I should have done or felt so I need to meditate about it.
4.Do you think being semi-international plays a role as to why you have bad flashbacks from all over your past? I only ask because I think that's a big factor as to why it happens to me, at least.
I think the main reason I have flashbacks is because I care about not just ignoring my problems. I want to grow from them so I tend to think a lot about what I can do better.
That being said there are a couple memories that relate to being international. Not everyone takes kindly to foreigners, nor do they always understand that you can look different and not be a foreigner.
I simple words - racism, xenophobia, and lack of being cultured have led to bad experiences.
5.Journaling has become the thing that has helped me the most in recent times. Have you tried journaling? Does it help you at all too? If so, do you have any unique journaling methods you would like to share?
I'm glad you have a way to channel your feelings and help ease yourself. Outputs like that can be very powerful. I haven't tried journaling, but if I ever come up with a good lesson during my meditation sessions, I write it down as a quote in small notebooks.
These are usually short, one to two sentences, quotes. But it's satisfying to practice my handwriting when jotting them down and using different pens from my collection.
Although not journaling exactly, if you write down your lessons like me, it helps to know that what you are writing down doesn't have to make sense to anyone reading it, just to you.
6.Anything else you’d like to add as we wrap up here?
Thank you for having me. I would just like to say to anyone out there that is struggling with their own unique issues - your determination to strive for a better situation and your ability to open up to people you trust are the two greatest things that can help you come out on top.
Peace!
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