Sunday, September 24, 2023

Reimagining Star Wars As One Big Show

  Recently I was asking myself why I like to write about Star Wars so much on this blog, and why I keep doing it, even when I say I won’t. And then I realized something; talking to other people about Star Wars sucks, cause all of our opinions about it are too “unique” from one another, at this point. That said, I still have thoughts about it, and don’t want to keep those thoughts stuck in my own head, so this is the next best thing…

And about a year ago, I had this thought in particular; what if all the movies were one big show instead? I find that Star Wars is a lot funner to think about when you just look at it all as “one big show” that’s been running on and off since 1977. Furthermore, as much as I enjoy all the movies (for different reasons), I don’t really have two hours to kill to watch one of them in my day-to-day life, even on weekends. Therefore, I came up with a way to watch them all in “chunks” instead (using Disney Plus for the time stamps).


To make things a little more interesting, I also came up with episode titles for each segment. On top of that, I’m including Obi-Wan Kenobi on this list too, as it’s the only Star Wars show that didn’t give titles to its episodes, so I thought it’d be fun to make up my own titles for it.


So without further ado, here you go:


The Phantom Menace

0h00m - 0h27m - “Invasion”

0h27m - 0h55m - “The Deal”

0h55m - 1h16m - “Podracing”

1h16m - 1h45m - “Alliances”

1h45m - 2h09m - “Duel of Fates”


Attack of the Clones

0h00m - 0h24m - “City Chase”

0h24m - 0h50m - “Investigation”

0h50m - 1h23m - “The Nightmare”

1h23m - 1h50m - “Captured”

1h50m - 2h16m - “Battle of the Jedi”


The Clone Wars (Movie)

0h00m - 0h26m - “Meeting the Student”

0h26m - 0h47m - “The Battle of Teth”

0h47m - 1h06m - “The Mission Comes First”

1h06m - 1h34m - “Father & Son”


Revenge of the Sith

0h00m - 0h27m - “Not the Jedi Way”

0h27m - 0h56m - “Fear of Loss”

0h56m - 1h21m - “Sith Rising”

1h21m - 1h48m - “Liberty Dies”

1h48m - 2h14m - “The Chosen One”


Solo

0h00m - 0h25m - “Lost & Found”

0h25m - 0h47m - “Enter Crimson Dawn”

0h47m - 1h10m - “A Solid Crew”

1h10m - 1h36m - “The Kessel Run”

1h36m - 2h07m - “Trust No One”


Obi-Wan Kenobi

“The Call”

“The Search”

“The Apprentice”

“The Fortress”

“The Escape”

“The Future”


Rogue One

0h00m - 0h36m - “The Strongest Stars”

0h36m - 0h56m - “No Better Name”

0h56m - 1h19m - “Wrath of the Storm”

1h19m - 1h48m - “Sacrifice”

1h48m - 2h06m - “Lighting the Fuse”


Star Wars

0h00m - 0h28m - “Stranded”

0h28m - 0h51m - “Scum & Villainy”

0h51m - 1h16m - “A Larger World”

1h16m - 1h39m - “Learner & Master”

1h39m - 2h01m - “Letting Go”


The Empire Strikes Back

0h00m - 0h26m - “Visit from Beyond”

0h26m - 0h45m - “Separated”

0h45m - 1h07m - “Trials of a Jedi”

1h07m - 1h29m - “A Powerful Ally”

1h29m - 2h02m - “Revelation”


Return of the Jedi

0h00m - 0h37m - “The Crime Lord”

0h37m - 0h56m - “There Is Another”

0h56m - 1h18m - “Leading Edge”

1h18m - 1h45m - “Surrender”

1h45m - 2h08m - “Balance of the Force”


The Force Awakens

0h00m - 0h27m - “The Right Thing To Do”

0h27m - 0h54m - “A War Hero”

0h54m - 1h18m - “The Watering Hole”

1h18m - 1h42m - “Beneath the Mask”

1h42m - 2h08m - “Facing Destiny”


The Last Jedi

0h00m - 0h25m - “A Thousand Questions”

0h25m - 0h59m - “Connections”

0h59m - 1h21m - “Not Alone”

1h21m - 1h48m - “Failure”

1h48m - 2h24m - “Peace & Purpose”


The Rise of Skywalker

0h00m - 0h26m - “Together”

0h26m - 0h51m - “The Dagger”

0h51m - 1h13m - “A Dyad in the Force”

1h13m - 1h39m - “Into the Ruins”

1h39m - 2h13m - “True Family”


Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to watch one of these and kill another 20 or 30 minutes of my life…


Peace!

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