Friday, April 1, 2022

Tommy Wiseau's "The Room" Is Really A Masterpiece (No, Really!)

  In the year 2003, an American filmmaker in his early twenties by the name of Tommy Wiseau unleashed the greatest gift in the history of mankind; an independent film simply titled The Room

Unfortunately, the motion picture was not successful upon its initial release, for it was lightyears ahead of its time. Far too advanced for the simple-minded people of 2003 to understand and appreciate it’s true greatness and genius… With next year being the 20th anniversary of this masterpiece, I decided to take it upon myself to outline why each and every scene and moment in this movie is nothing less than pure perfection, and how it uses the Shakespearean five-act tragedy structure to great effect.


And with that, let us begin…


ACT I


We open the greatest movie of all time with a montage of key landmarks in the city of San Francisco; presented here as a “false paradise,” of sorts. On the surface, the sparkling waters and breathtaking vistas may seem like a little piece of heaven, but this is merely a subversion of expectations on the part of our lord and savior, Tommy Wiseau. Soon enough, we find our protagonist Johnny (played by Wiseau himself, a man of Brando’s caliber) riding the bus. You may be thinking “Who’s this weirdo with the long hair?” But that is exactly the point, my friends. Johnny is a fish-out-of-water, an embodiment of the insecurities in us all. More importantly than that, however; he is a deconstruction of the American hero. This is solidified when he arrives home and presents a gift to his future wife Lisa, for no special occasion whatsoever. A random act of kindness. Immediately, we are subtly told exactly what kind of person Johnny is, and the challenges that lie ahead of him…


Be it consciously or subconsciously, we all know in some way or another that true kindness does not lead to the same in return, even though it should. Rather, people in reality use kindness as an excuse to take advantage of those who give it to them. This is a core theme of the motion picture, and will continue to be expanded upon in each and every scene to follow, culminating in the film’s climax, where Johnny’s initial gift to Lisa plays a role in his death. A full-circle moment that only a true visionary like Wiseau can pull off…


But I’m getting ahead of myself. Jumping back to the beginning, we see that Johnny’s gift to Lisa happens to be a red dress. That’s right; red! The color of both love and blood. Beauty and pain. This is reflected by the fact that every room in Johnny’s house happens to have red walls. Once again, only cultured artists such as Wiseau know how to use color for such nuanced purposes…


Next, we meet Denny. You may be thinking “Who the fuck is this kid?” But that’s just the thing; everyone is family to Johnny… Shortly after Denny’s arrival, Lisa and Johnny go upstairs, leaving him alone in their living room. You may be thinking “Well that was fucking rude.” But you see, this is simply meant to emphasize Lisa’s poisonous love. She’s so seductive that Johnny is willing to leave a boy alone in their own home so that he can go fuck her right away. Johnny is a victim of love. He’s corrupted by romance. A subject which we all relate to, be it directly or indirectly…


It doesn’t take long for Denny to follow them upstairs and interrupt their little escapade, saying “I just like to watch you guys.” You may be thinking “That’s fucking creepy,” when in fact it is actually foreshadowing on the part of Wiseau. With that line, we are subtly learning just how envious Denny is of the love which Johnny and Lisa share, unaware of the toxicity beginning to boil between them. All of this comes back around to impact the plot of the movie down the road…


After some convincing (“Denny, don’t you have something better to do?”), the boy leaves and allows for things between Johnny and Lisa to heat up. We are allowed a glimpse into their sex life. At this point, you may be thinking “Is he fucking her belly button?” Yes. Yes he is. But you see, this also carries thematic meaning. Deep down, Johnny already knows that their relationship is fading, and that Lisa is getting bored of him. Making love to her naval cavity is Johnny’s desperate attempt to salvage whatever is left of their dying flame. Again, only a genius like Wiseau can sneak foreshadowing into a scene so subtly. We also see more red here (the candles and the roses).


The next morning, Johnny gets out of bed and we are exposed to his ass, which is meant to symbolize his vulnerability as a character. We then cut to later in the day, after he has already headed off to work. Lisa, now alone at home, is visited by her own mother, Claudette (who is also wearing red, by the way). She can tell right away that something is wrong with Lisa. We are being clued into a dark history… It doesn’t take long for us to realize that Lisa is fucked in the head because of her materialistic, self-hating mother. This sequence also further adds to the deconstruction of the American Dream, with how Claudette tries to convince Lisa to stay with Johnny by reminding her of how he provides her with a nice car, a nice house, nice clothes, etc. Again, all materialistic factors. The scene ends with Lisa simply saying “Thanks, Mom,” but the delivery of this line tells us how, deep down, Lisa is still envious and unsatisfied. Nevertheless, she knows trying to argue with her bitchy mother is hopeless. We can tell she’s been through this before, far too many times…


After Claudette leaves, Lisa calls Johnny’s best friend Mark, who immediately says he’s “very busy.” This knee-jerk reaction clues us into the fact that Lisa has likely hit on him before, perhaps many times in the past, and he wants to avoid it happening again as much as possible. Nevertheless, she presses on, to which he says “You should enjoy your life.” You may think this line sounds awkward, but given the context of the story, we can tell that Johnny’s best friend Mark is desperately trying to push Lisa away…


We then see Johnny’s best friend Mark arrive at Lisa’s home. Instantly, we are being told by the film that, despite his attempts to push her away, even he can’t resist her temptations. Nevertheless, he still tries to prolong their inevitable affair by asking stupid questions (“What’s going on here?”), as well as trying to guilt-trip her (“Johnny’s my best friend!”). None of this phases Lisa, however. If anything, it motivates her further, as she responds to these deflections with “I dream about you.” At this point, Johnny’s best friend Mark gives into the sex because he realizes now that Lisa is fucking crazy and he’s scared of what she’ll do otherwise…


ACT II


Some time later, Johnny goes to buy Lisa some roses (again with the red!). As he removes his sunglasses, the store clerk says to him “Oh, hi Johnny. I didn’t know it was you.” You may be thinking “How the fuck did you not know it was him? Literally nobody else on the planet looks like that.” But you see, boys and girls, the store keeper is merely being nice to him here. She knows Johnny is a fish-out-of-water, and is trying to help him feel just as normal as the many other thousands of San Francisco inhabitants. Her final line to him, “You’re my favorite customer,” is meant to further help him feel more welcomed and acclimated. Before he leaves, however, Johnny pets her dog on the counter, kindly saying “Hai, doggy.” Again, everyone is family to Johnny. Even animals…


While Johnny is on his way home, we see Lisa (now alone in the house again) ordering a pizza, “light on the cheese” (totally a normal order, of course!). Denny then walks in again and claims to be looking for Johnny, but it’s obvious that he’s really there to see her. He tells Lisa she looks beautiful, and asks if he can kiss her. You may be cringing at this moment, but it’s actually important for Denny’s character development, as it further emphasizes the ever-increasing desperation of his love for her. Lisa, in return, calls him a creep, to which he then says “I gotta go” and leaves abruptly. It’s clear here that he knows he fucked up and creeped Lisa out, and now he’s ashamed of it…


Immediately after, Johnny walks in and gives Lisa the flowers. Yet another random act of kindness, and a further reminder of how desperate he is to hold onto her. Lisa is no longer interested in these gestures, however. Instead, she merely asks if Johnny got the promotion at work which he was supposedly promised. He says “Nah,” to which Lisa responds by asking again “You didn’t get it, did you?” The fact that she repeated her question shows that even she’s in denial of the reality that Johnny’s career status is declining. Johnny, on the other hand, is not in denial about this aspect of his life. Quite the opposite, as a matter of fact! He even says “They are using me, and I am the fool.” He’s finally waking up to the fact that the American Dream is nothing more than a corporate lie…


We then see Lisa attempt to get Johnny drunk, so that he hits her. Despite getting “tired and wasted,” Johnny does not harm Lisa, which once again shows just how good of a person he really is. Even more upset now, she just decides to flat-out lie (her insanity is getting worse). Furthermore, she begins planning a surprise party for Johnny, which is really nothing more than an attempt to fuel her own ego and guilt-trip her future husband…


As Lisa is secretly preparing for the party, Claudette returns and announces that she has breast cancer, which Lisa coldly brushes off, telling her mom that it’ll simply go away. Again, this further shows Lisa’s denial and insanity, as well as the fact that she only cares about herself and actually hates her own mother deep down. Claudette then says “I’m sure I’ll be alright” and never brings up the cancer again for the rest of the movie. This is actually intentional, as Claudette knows Lisa doesn’t actually care about her.


Lisa then tells Claudette that Johnny got drunk and hit her, to which Claudette simply says “Johnny doesn’t drink.” Lisa then abruptly says “Can I just talk to you later?” and asks her mother to leave. It’s clear here that she’s now trying to push her mother away for not believing in her obvious lie…


Later on, we see a random couple walk into Johnny and Lisa’s home. They start getting ready to fuck on the couch. You may be thinking right now “This is all so random and stupid and why am I still watching this shit?” See, this is to hint at the possibility that the house may have been an orgy hangout for Johnny and his friends, at some point in the past, and this seemingly-random couple is trying to regain the lost spark of their youth, which is similar to the predicament that Johnny and Lisa are in with their own relationship. Starting to see the themes here? Lisa and Claudette then walk in, and Claudette becomes the intentional voice of the audience (“Who are these characters?”). This is further expanded upon when the random couple leaves and Denny walks in (“Do people just walk in and out of here all the time? Don’t you have your own kitchen?”).


Not too long after this, we see Denny getting attacked by a drug dealer whom he owes money to. You may be thinking “Wait, this kid has a drug problem too now? The other characters act like he’s in middle school or something!” You see, this whole sequence is meant to symbolize the poisoning of our youth. Yet another layer in the ongoing corruption of the American Dream…


Thankfully, Johnny and his best friend Mark arrive in time to stop the drug dealer and take him away. Later on, during the climax of the film, we see that Johnny has actually kept the drug dealer’s gun, and this ends up being the very weapon he uses to commit suicide. So in a way, by trying to help Denny, Johnny just simply furthered his own demise instead. See the metaphor?


After the traumatic experience involving the dealer, Lisa attempts to engage in phone sex, of sorts, with Johnny’s best friend Mark. She says, in a rather seductive way, “I miss you.” It’s clear here that she uses conspicuous sex as a coping mechanism for dealing with trauma. Johnny’s best friend Mark can’t take the hint, however, simply replying with “I just saw you!”


ACT III


The next morning, Johnny goes back up to the roof. By this point, he is aware of Lisa’s false accusations of him hitting her, shouting “I did not hit her! It’s not true! It’s bullshit! I did naht… Oh, hai Mark.” You may be thinking “What the fuck was that?” But once again, the awkward delivery here is intentional. Johnny is so angry with his current predicament that his own anger had initially blinded him from being able to see that his best friend Mark was there, just a few feet away…


Moving on; the pair converse. Johnny’s best friend Mark asks “Do you think girls like to cheat like guys do?” Because, as I’m sure you all know, every male human being likes to cheat. Johnny merely responds with “I don’t have to worry about that cause Lisa is loyal to me.” It’s clear yet again by his delivery here though that he’s in denial. Deep down, he knows Lisa is slipping away to another man, or probably already has…


Johnny’s best friend Mark then tells him a story about a woman who was beaten to a pulp after being caught cheating, which Johnny laughs at. You may be thinking “Jesus, this guy is a psychopath.” But you see, that’s the point. The stress of his failing relationship is driving Johnny insane. He then randomly says “I’m so happy to have you as a friend, and I love Lisa so much.” It’s clear here that he’s just saying whatever he can to try to combat the stress building in his head. The conversation on the roof continues, with Johnny spewing shit like “Well maybe you should have a girl, Mark!” (in other words: “Stay away from mine!”), “My Lisa is great when I can get it!” (more denial/ compensation) and “Do you have some secrets?!” (he already knows the truth about the affair, deep down).


Clearly aggravated, Johnny’s best friend Mark storms back downstairs, just as Denny walks up to join them on the roof. Denny asks Johnny what movie they should go see, and Johnny answers “We’ll see… Denny, don’t plan too much. It may not come out right.” You may be thinking “Why did he just say that?” But this, once again, actually ties into the theme of the whole movie. Johnny tried to plan out a whole future with Lisa, and now it’s backfiring on him…


Denny then confesses his love of Lisa to Johnny who, surprisingly, doesn’t seem to bothered by this. But this actually makes sense. Denny is just a kid, so Johnny doesn’t see him as a threat. He sees the potential for the youth to still mature and grow to have a better head on their shoulders and not cheat on each other. Again, he’s too idealistic. He still believes that someday, the American Dream can become real, even if it’s long after his own life…


We then cut to Lisa chatting with Michele (the girl from the random couch-fucking couple from earlier). During their talk, Lisa keeps picking a wine glass up and then putting it down, a clear sign that she’s trying to fight against her own alcoholism. Michele calls her out for cheating, to which Lisa says “I’m happy.” She lives for the danger now, because it’s the only thing that still excites her…


Johnny then walks in and asks Lisa “Did you get a new dress?” It’s clear here that the atmosphere is so awkward that he doesn’t even know what to ask anymore. Michele then leaves and then Johnny and Lisa proceed to have an argument. You may have noticed by this point that they constantly refer to each other as “future husband” and “future wife” instead of “fiancé.” This is to better reinforce the American Dream idea of “husband and wife.” Johnny is so anxious to just finally be at that stage of his life.


Their argument continues to escalate, and culminates with Johnny shouting “You are tearing me apart, Lisa!” He knows he should leave her at this point, but doesn’t want to ruin his chance at fully realizing the American Dream. It’s through this well-delivered line where we truly see the two sides of Johnny; one who still believes in the American Dream, and one who’s realizing that it’s not actually real… As the argument comes to end, Lisa walks away and Johnny says “Don’t worry about it. I still love you.” He’s still a good person, no matter how hard he tries not to be…


The next day, Johnny, Denny and Johnny’s best friend Mark play football (like all Americans do) with Mike (the guy from the couch-fucking couple). Mike gets injured, a symbol for the destruction of Johnny’s life that’s around the corner. A sign of the coming storm…


Meanwhile, Lisa and Claudette are chatting again about the fact that Lisa doesn’t love Johnny anymore. You may be thinking “Why do we have to see these same two people talk about this same shit again?!” But you see, every time Lisa and her mother have this conversation, we subtly learn a little more about who they are as characters. In this particular chat, Claudette complains that Johnny declined to help her pay for her friend’s downpayment on a new house. It’s through this that we learn that Claudette is even worse than we could’ve ever imagined. Not only does she want to bend and shape Lisa’s own life to her liking, she wants to absorb Johnny’s resources for herself too!


Johnny sneaks up on them at the end of this particular conversation and hear’s Lisa confess to the fact that she’s been cheating on him. Rather than confront her about this, he decides to hide a recorder in the room, even though he already knows the truth. That’s how far in denial he really is now!


ACT IV


The following morning, Johnny invites his therapist Peter over. It’s pretty clear that he’s trying to get therapy for free now, but he’s in denial about that too (“Peter, why are you always playing psychologist with us?!”). Peter responds to Johnny’s concerns about Lisa with comments like “Sometimes life gets complicated… You just gotta deal with it!!” You may be thinking “What the fuck?! That’s not what a trained therapist would say!!” But you see, Peter is not on the clock right now. He knows Johnny is just trying to get therapy for free, so he’s feeding him bullshit. Their talk continues, and at one point Johnny says “Don’t you know? Love is blind!” You may be thinking “Wow, the delivery of that was really stupid.” But you see, Wiseau (again, a man of Brando’s talent) over-exaggerated that line because, once again, it ties into the theme of the whole movie, as Johnny’s “blind love” for Lisa is what ultimately leads to his destruction…


Johnny’s best friend Mark then walks in and joins the conversation. At one point, Johnny teasingly calls him a chicken, adding in a high-pitched “Cheep cheep cheep cheep!” You may be thinking by now “When will this movie be over?” But you see, this scene, just like every other scene of the movie, showcases an important character moment. Johnny’s taunting here reminds us how he has some childish innocence in him. Moments like these are essential, so that the audience maintains their sympathy for the protagonist!


Not too long after, Johnny’s best friend Mark jokingly says to Johnny “Who’s the king of the house?” He’s subconsciously challenging Johnny’s manhood. Afterwards, Johnny tells the story about how he and Lisa met, which involves him not being able to cash a check due to being at “an out-of-state bank.” You may be thinking now “Out-of-state bank? What’s this guy talking about? Was this whole movie just a big money laundering scheme or something?” You see, Tommy Wiseau, a real American guy, is playing the role of a foreign man pretending to be American. This isn’t a reflection of who Tommy Wiseau actually is, mind you, just his character. Tommy Wiseau is a real American guy, Johnny isn’t. That’s why Johnny as a character is so desperate to fully realize the American Dream…


Lisa and Denny then walk in just as Johnny, Peter and Johnny’s best friend Mark all walk out. Denny then sits on the floor (to remind us that he’s just a kid). We then cut to Peter walking onto the roof, where he finds Johnny’s best friend Mark smoking weed. Peter suspects that he’s having an affair with Lisa, and confronts him on this, which leads to Johnny’s best friend Mark attempting to murder him, no big deal. The dope-smoking and anger outbursts are meant to show that Johnny’s best friend Mark is trying to cope with his own guilt, but doesn’t know how to in a healthy way (since he’s never been in this situation before).


We then get a quick shot of a church, followed by a sequence where all the male characters try on tuxedoes. This is to falsely foreshadow the future Johnny and Lisa will never have. A beautiful subversion of expectations, on the part of our great messiah Tommy Wiseau. Johnny’s best friend Mark then walks in, and we see that he’s clean-shaven now, which shows us that he’s trying to be a better person and learn from his mistakes going forward. He wants the affair with Lisa to be over. Once again; this is a subversion of expectations. All of these things coming together are there to try to fool us into thinking that maybe Johnny and Lisa really do still have a chance together, but we all know deep down that the storm is still coming…


Next we see all the male characters playing football, like all Americans do, while still wearing their tuxedoes. You may be thinking “My god, this shit is all so dumb. Kill me!” But you see, this scene is meant to symbolize the internal battle between the innocence of childhood and the realism of adulthood. Throwing around a football together is the childhood side of things, and the tuxedoes are the adult side. The scene culminates with Peter falling, an echo of Mike’s injury from the last time all the guys played football together earlier. Once again; this is foreshadowing. Destruction is just around the corner now…


ACT V


The next day, Johnny and his best friend Mark arrive at a cafe together. We see two other groups of people place their orders before Johnny and his best friend Mark do. You may be thinking “Couldn’t the scene have just started with them already sitting down with their food? Please God, make this shit stop!” You see, this is to remind us that the world these people live in is real. It’s a living, breathing world. Wiseau allows the scene to breathe, because he is the type of director that people like Steven Spielberg can only ever dream of being…


It’s also here in this sequence where we see the two other couples in front of them each order cheesecake, a joke that comes full circle when the barista then recommends the cheesecake to Johnny and his best friend Mark, which they cheekily decline. You might have also noticed here that the barista already knows who Johnny is, just like the flower lady did earlier. You may be thinking “This stupid movie is just clearly some vanity project and this weirdo just wanted to pretend like everyone knows who he is!” But you’re wrong, you stupid idiot. Having everyone know who Johnny is shows us how deeply integrated into the community he is so that his death later on is more impactful.


As the pair converse, Johnny talks about “having a new client at the bank.” You may be thinking “Wait, a bank? I thought he worked for a computer company!” But you see, it doesn’t matter what job Johnny has. Like I said earlier, he’s merely an embodiment of the American hero. He’s every banker, computer guy, etc. you meet on the street. He is all of us…


Johnny’s best friend Mark asks for details on the client, which Johnny replies with “I cannot tell you! It’s confidential!! Anyway, how is your sex life?” This line may seem random at first, but it actually isn’t. By this point, Johnny is definitely aware, at least on a subconscious level, of the affair between Lisa and his best friend Mark, but the forefront of his mind is still in denial, hence why he’s still trying to get his best friend Mark to admit the truth on his own accord. Johnny’s best friend Mark deflects the question, of course, and then Johnny begins to leave, saying to meet him at the park later, a subtle way of saying “we’re still friends, for now…”


Next, we see Johnny’s best fiend Mark about to have sex with Lisa yet again, and as she’s undressing he’s saying things like “Wait, whoa! What’s going on here?” You may be thinking “Why is this asshole still playing dumb?” But you see, this is nothing more than role play, my friends. Johnny’s best friend Mark knows that he’s long passed the point of innocence, but he wants to still pretend to be innocent, for the sake of whatever sanity he has left…


We then get another bridge shot, to remind us once again of the “false paradise” which our characters occupy, only this time with added context. This leads us to Johnny and his best friend Mark playing football in the park, like all Americans do. An important sequence, as it shows us the last time they were ever truly friends…


Meanwhile, Lisa is once again conversing privately with Michele. This new conversation culminates with Lisa saying “If even he (Johnny’s best friend Mark) can’t give me what I want, someone else will!” We see now that she isn’t even pretending to be normal anymore. Her sanity slips further and further away with every new scene. To add salt to the wound, we then see the two women engage in a pillow fight, almost as if they were still children. A sense of “innocence” is added back to Lisa’s character, which allows us to sympathize with her, to a slight extent. See? Nuance, people! Nuance!!


This immediately leads to a shot of Johnny and his best friend Mark running together. You may be thinking “Do we really need to see a random shot of them exercising? This late in the story?” But you see, the run is merely symbolism. What we’re really seeing here is a visual representation of how Johnny and his best friend Mark are competing against each other for Lisa’s love, even if they don’t fully realize it…


We are then treated to one final private conversation between Lisa and Claudette, who is still pressuring her daughter to stay with Johnny, adding “I didn’t even want to marry your father.” Lisa is clearly shocked by this news, her moral compass now more out-of-whack than ever. If she didn’t have an excuse to snap before, she sure does now…


Later, we see Johnny walking alone at night, for the last time in his life. Once again; this is not as random as it may seem on the surface, for it’s there to remind us just how deeply integrated into the world this person really is. The sequence ends with Johnny arriving home, only to be exposed, finally, to Lisa’s surprise party. Of course, Johnny is flattered. A false assumption that Lisa cares for him, when she really doesn’t…


After the party starts, we cut to an establishing shot of the night sky, before returning to the party. You may be thinking “What the fuck?! Who edited this shit?! Please turn the movie off.” But you see, this skyline shot is vital, for it shows us that we’re not just in night territory anymore, we’re in late night territory, where people are often at their craziest. The storm has arrived…


When we cut back to the party, we see Claudette talking to Johnny, to remind us just how much of a hanger-on she really is. Lisa then tells everyone to go outside “for some air,” except for Johnny’s best friend Mark, who she proceeds to make out with on the couch. She knows anyone can walk in and catch them at any moment, but she doesn’t care anymore. Her need for danger is at an all-time high. And wouldn’t you know it; a completely random guy walks in and catches them. You may be thinking “Who the fuck is this guy?” But you see, anyone can come in and out of your life at any moment… Anyways, random guy tries to call the two of them out on their affair, to which Johnny’s best friend Mark responds with “Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!” You may be thinking “Did he really just say that? Really?” But being stressed out can sometimes make people say stupid shit, which I’m sure you know all about…


Anyways, the three of them go join everyone else outside, where Johnny tells Lisa “You invited all my friends! Good thinking!” You may be thinking “Why’s he stating the obvious?” But you see, by this point he can clearly tell that the party is entirely superficial, and that Lisa doesn’t actually like him anymore, so he’s just desperately saying whatever he can think of to try to win her back! If that wasn’t enough, Lisa then lies to Johnny about being pregnant, and then admits to Michele and random guy on the side that she told said lie “to make things more interesting.” She’s getting even crazier! She then adds “We’re probably gonna have a baby anyway,” almost as if she’s beginning to accept her fate, the fate she didn’t want…


Soon after, Johnny’s best friend Mark asks her if the baby is his. She could just tell him that the whole thing is a lie, but she doesn’t. She’s even lying to her secret lover now, because that’s just how nuts she is at this point! Johnny’s best friend Mark, now believing that the fictional baby could be his, decides he no longer wants to hide the affair, so the pair start dancing in front of Johnny. This, of course, escalates to the heart-wrenching fight between the pair of now-former friends. Their bond is truly dead…


The party dissolves into chaos. Everyone is forced to leave. Johnny retreats to the bathroom. Lisa asks him to come out. He responds with “In a few minutes, bitch.” You may be dying of pure laughter right now, but you see, this line is actually serious, as it shows us that the good soul which Johnny once was is now gone forever. No more Mr. Nice Guy. The American Dream is dead…


This, of course, leads to Johnny’s untimely suicide, which in turn leads to Johnny’s best friend Mark learning his lesson, but Lisa doesn’t. She wants to still be with Johnny’s best friend Mark, but he rejects her. He has now discovered the ultimate truth in life: Bros before hoes…


IN CONCLUSION


And so, we have now reached the end of this beautiful masterpiece, and now I hope you see why you were dumb for thinking this movie was bad before, and now you’re smart, like me… But you’re probably thinking just one more thing: “What was with all the framed plastic spoons in the background of almost every scene?” You see, Johnny handed everything to everyone on a silver spoon, and then paid the ultimate price for it…


As we close out, I would simply like to say: You’re welcome, and I promise that the fact this was posted on April Fools Day has nothing to do with anything…


Peace!


PS: Did I mention that Mark is Johnny’s best friend?

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