A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
Where were you when you first saw those words? We all have a unique experience with this beloved franchise created by George Lucas. We all have things we like about each installment, and things we don’t. Today, I’m going to go over how I feel about all of them. Before we get started however, please take into account the following caveats…
First of all; I will NOT be ranking anything, as I want this to be as neutral as possible, to highlight the fact that there are things to like and dislike with each of these, and it’s okay if my opinion differs from yours (take notes, Star Wars fans). That being said, there are obviously some installments that I enjoy more than others, and it’ll probably be obvious which I like more than which. Nothing I can really do about that…
Now, I have a lot to say about Star Wars (couldn’t you tell?), so I narrowed things down to my “top five pros” and “top five cons” for each installment. I will only be touching on canon movies and TV shows. Also, for today, I will only be going over the stuff Lucas himself worked on. I’ll go through everything Disney has done with Star Wars up until 2020 in my next post. Then, in several years from now, I’ll cover everything they announced at their recent Investor’s Call (unless I feel the need to cover any of it sooner).
So with that all out of the way now, let’s get started!
Star Wars (1977)
THE GOOD: For starters, it just “feels” really good. You can really tell every time you watch it that it was just the right movie made at the right time! Furthermore, I love how there’s just so much influence from all different kinds of cultures and mythologies all in one package! On top of that, this movie did so much good for all of the pop culture that came after it. The 80’s and onward wouldn’t have been so exciting had it not been for this film alone. I think it works as well as it does because of all the “breathing room” it had when it was made. There was no lore getting in the way at the time. The last good thing I’ll say about it is this; the action sequences may all be very simple (the saber duel, the trench run, etc.), but I think that simplicity adds to their elegance!
THE BAD: As much as I hate to say it, when I take the nostalgia goggles off, I feel that this movie is a little dated, until you get about halfway through. The trash-compactor sequence that solidifies the dynamic between Luke, Han and Leia helps this movie to cross over into “timeless” status, but up until then, it may be a bit of a weird film for those who didn’t grow up with it (and there’s no guarantee that they’d like the second half, either). Another thing that I hate to admit is that Hamill’s acting is a little flat in this one. I get that he was trying to play the part of an eager teen, but I think he overdid it a little (even for a kids film!). Speaking of Hamill, I’m sorry to say, but Luke is also a bit of a Mary Sue/ Gary Stew. Just because he said he used to “bullseye womprats” doesn’t mean he can all of a sudden be an ace pilot without even trying! Furthermore, Leia is a bit underwritten. She has literally no reaction whatsoever to being tortured, or seeing her home planet blow up. Lastly, it can’t be ignored that this film was clearly made on a tight budget, at a time when film tech itself was limited. I personally enjoy it for that reason, but I can see how it would bother some others.
The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
THE GOOD: I enjoy all of the technical aspects of this film. The music, the worlds, the dialogue, the acting… All of those aspects are pretty much perfect. I also love everything that happens on Dagobah in particular, for the most part. It’s also great how Vader is way scarier this time around. He’s actually probably a little too scary, to the point where it doesn’t fit with his personality in the rest of the trilogy, but it still mostly works. And while I said several posts ago that I felt the saber fight in this film set a bad precedent for the rest of the series, I still feel that the duel itself, when viewed on it’s own, is great! Lastly, I gotta give this film credit for the sheer ambition it had, while still managing to maintain the “pulpy” feel of Star Wars in scenes like the Wampa attack, the asteroid chase, the escape from the worm, the design of Cloud City, etc. I know I dissed the AT-AT battle a while back, but it’s still fun, as long as you shut your brain off for it.
THE BAD: I already wrote a four-part blog post series explaining why I think this film is a little overrated (go read that if you haven’t yet), so I’m not gonna go into too much detail here. To summarize; I think this movie created a strong sense of elitism, both within the fictional universe itself, as well as amongst the fandom. Suddenly, Luke’s only important because of his bloodline, and fans only give a shit about Star Wars now if it has something to do with that. The “twist” (retcon) also screwed up the themes of the franchise longterm. Our fun space opera is also a dreary family soap opera now. The tone of the franchise also became distorted, thanks to this movie. Everything needs to be “dark” now for no reason (“why didn’t Rey lose a hand?!”). The world building of the universe also became screwed up here. Suddenly, Palpatine is the one pulling all the strings (see my link above and get to Part 3 to see why this is bad), and the force is now a physical “cheat code” for everything, starting here. Last but not least… Han and Leia suck in this. Again, see my old posts for details, but… Yeah, they just suck. I don’t care what anyone else says. The nostalgia isn’t fooling me here. And no, Han saying “that bounty hunter we ran into changed my mind” as a quick throwaway line at the beginning of the movie is not an excuse for why all of his character development from the first film has suddenly disappeared (forgot to mention that in my older posts).
Return of the Jedi (1983)
THE GOOD: It’s cool to see Luke “grown” here. He’s really come a long way! That being said, it’s a little jarring how different he is now, all of a sudden, and I think “Super Luke” is a bit overrated. Nonetheless, Hamill acted his heart out here, so good for him! Furthermore, while it makes no sense story-wise, I like how the plan to rescue Han involved each character entering Jabba’s Palace one at a time. It created this cool “we’re getting the band back together” type of effect, which I usually tend to enjoy. Finally seeing Jabba for the first time (I’m not counting special editions here) was also cool. In addition, I also don’t mind Death Star II. It creates a “full circle” feel, and the entire throne room sequence is also pretty great. I think the most important thing that cannot be denied about this movie, however, is the fact that the cast and the crew were basically running on fumes here. The life-size Falcon that was used on the first two films burnt down in an accident (that’s why whenever you see it in full here it’s either a model or a matte painting). Lucas also lost support of the Director’s Guild before making this movie, which forced him to have to settle for working with a play director, and paying out of his own pocket (like he did with Empire). To make matters worse, he also went through a costly divorce before filming began. The fact that this movie was finished on time and came out mostly unscathed is actually something of a miracle…
THE BAD: Thanks to the sudden retcons from Empire, this is the first film in the series to feel like “two movies at once” (something which plagued the rest of the series too, sadly). Han and Leia suck even more now. Especially Leia, since she’s suddenly retconned into being Luke’s sibling, as well as the “other” that Yoda mentioned in Empire, which doesn’t make sense cause then why wouldn’t he have wanted Luke to go try to save her? Ewoks are a cute idea, since they represent how pivotal help can come from the most unexpected of places, but the execution there sucks (that Ewok spinning on the speeder-bike always made me cringe, even when I was a little kid!). The movie itself is also too “conclusive.” The entire plot plays out like a check-off list (rescue Han, visit Yoda, touch base with Kenobi’s ghost, find out who the “other” is, resolve love triangle, etc.), and leaves almost no room for more stories (there’s a reason why both the old EU books and the sequel trilogy ended up being as divisive as they each were)… Oh yeah, and fuck Chewy’s “Tarzan roar.”
The Phantom Menace (1999)
THE GOOD: This is the first Star Wars film I ever saw, so I have a soft spot for it! That being said, I think there are genuinely some good attributes here. Firstly, I like how this movie is mostly self-contained. It’s almost more fun to pretend like this is one of those cheesy standalone TV movies on the SyFy Channel! Also, Qui-Gon is basically a perfect mentor figure! I also like Maul, despite his lack of personality. On top of that, I actually enjoy how this movie basically has four climaxes all going on at once in the final act. As strange as it all was, it added a “big scope” feel, which I tend to enjoy. Last, but most certainly not least, it cannot be ignored how this is the only prequel to be shot on film, and use real sets and locations. Even Coruscant looks cool, thanks to the “grainy” feel that comes with shooting on film.
THE BAD: For starters, the politics are too difficult to understand. There’s a trade embargo on Naboo because… Reasons? A Queen can call for a vote of no confidence on the Chancellor because… More reasons?! You get the idea. Also, the pod race is a cool idea, but the way it plays out in the movie really drags (no pun intended). What makes it even worse is that the 2001 DVD version added a bunch of extra bits to that race, and they’ve remained in every new version of the film since! Furthermore, little kid Anakin makes no sense. Why did Padme show signs of feeling for someone so much younger than her? How and why was his mom a virgin? How and why did he build 3PO? Also, like Luke and Rey, he’s a bit of a Mary Sue too. And no, just saying “he’s the chosen one” isn’t an excuse! That stupid prophecy and the whole midichlorians thing (both introduced in this film) both shrink the universe even more than “I am your father” already did. That all being said, I do feel sorry for Jake Lloyd. He tried his best, and didn’t deserve all the turmoil that came to him as a result of this role. Hopefully his life turns around… Lastly, and I’m sorry to say this but… That lightsaber fight is actually really dumb. It’s nothing more than a dance! I will admit though that I like how the duel itself is “the battle for Anakin’s soul,” since Anakin probably wouldn’t have ever become Vader had Qui-Gon lived to train him instead.
Attack of the Clones (2002)
THE GOOD: As crazy as it sounds, I feel like this is the “pulpiest” one of the entire franchise. All of the designs and basic plot lines feel like something out of John Carter, or even a fairytale, and just look at the title! It doesn’t get any pulpier than that! It’s also the only film in the entire franchise to fully embrace the idea of “auteur theory,” as in the creator just doing whatever they want. Lucas was constrained by limited tech during the making of the original trilogy, and then Phantom had the responsibility of setting the prequel trilogy up, while Revenge had the burden of winding it down. Therefore, this is the only film in the series that Lucas himself has worked on where he could just do whatever his imagination desired, without any limitations whatsoever. It may be the craziest entry, as a result, but there’s something to be said for that! It’s also nice how at least this time around Anakin and Padme feel like they’re around the same age, due to all the time that has passed in-universe, and the actor change for Anakin. Also, I know many people were upset that Boba Fett’s father was retconned into being the template for the clones, who themselves were retconned into being “proto-stormtroopers,” as all this does shrink the universe quite a bit, but it actually grew on me once I learned that Boba was originally going to be a “Stormtrooper Leader” before they made him into a bounty hunter anyways. I’ll also say that the idea of Kenobi having his own detective-style subplot is cool (though it was poorly executed).
THE BAD: This is the only film in the entire franchise with no logical resolution. Think about it! Kenobi follows the bounty hunter who tried to kill Padme, only to find out that he just so happens to be the template for a clone army that was secretly ordered by a Jedi who mysteriously died right around the time Palpatine became Chancellor… And he doesn’t even think twice about it! Dooku even tells him that the Senate is secretly under the control of a Sith Lord… And the Jedi still don’t do anything about it! For those reasons alone, I almost recommend skipping Phantom and Attack when watching these movies and just starting with Revenge. Seriously! Revenge immediately becomes a better movie once you forget that the other two prequels exist, and most of that is Attack’s fault. The romance plot here also sucks. Anakin and Padme haven’t seen each other in a decade, hang out for a few days… And get married, even though it’s illegal for Jedi to fall in love and marry. If that’s the case; shouldn’t all Jedi be tempted towards the dark side by the time they become teens? Is Anakin different just cause he started at age 8 instead of 4 or whatever? On that note; why wasn’t he allowed to visit his mom over the last decade? Would’ve probably helped with all the issues there, wouldn't it? Also, the murder plot sucks! A Sith Lord hires his apprentice to hire a bounty hunter to hire a shapeshifter to hire a robot with some bugs in it… The fuck is that about?! The pacing of this movie is also shit. Dookie (that’s what I’m calling him from now on) is our main villain, and he doesn’t show up until halfway through! I almost feel bad for shitting on this movie so hard, since I loved it when I was a kid, but I can’t help it. I’ll admit though that it’s almost “so bad that it’s good.”
Revenge of the Sith (2005)
THE GOOD: It’s nice how this movie is basically the entire original trilogy backstory, all wrapped into one package! You don’t even really need to see the other two prequels. You can pretty much start here and figure out fairly quickly what’s going on. Somewhat better acting from Hayden Christensen this time around too, and Ewan is great! His “you were the chosen one” line moved me to tears (even though I think the whole “chosen one” thing is stupid). Can’t wait to see more from these two in the upcoming Obi-Wan Kenobi show. I’ll say that the general plot of this movie is actually fairly decent, on paper. As a matter of fact, the novelization is pretty great, and shows that there actually is a good story buried in here, somewhere. I also must admit that the Yoda vs. Palpatine duel is a guilty pleasure of mine (I hate the Yoda vs. Dookie duel in Attack, though, and equally hate the Palpatine vs. Council duel here). I’ll also admit that it’s cool how the ships and general aesthetics “evolved” over the course of the trilogy, starting with really weird designs in Phantom, and culminating with “original trilogy-like” designs here (the Death Star skeleton was a bit much, though). Even the prophecy “evolved” through Yoda’s line (“misread, could have been”), so that it could apply to Luke and Leia (and by extension, Rey and Ren, or whoever else).
THE BAD: Literally every single line of dialogue uttered by Natalie Portman is pure cringe. Is it the writing? Is it her delivery? Honestly, it’s probably both. You could tell she was really checked out by this point (to be fair, I don’t blame her). The tonal issues are also at their absolute worst here. Most of the movie tries to pass itself off as “dark,” but then subjects us to CGI clones that look so cartoony that, one time, I stumbled upon this movie on TV in the middle of a shot of all clones, and I seriously thought it was an episode of the Clone Wars cartoon. On top of that, the movie throws awkward slapstick at us (mainly from R2), and the ever-inconsistent General Grievous acts scary, but is really a bumbling idiot (was that the point?). Another aspect I hate about this movie is all the memes. Sorry to say, but meme culture is overrated. Mustafar also sucks. I get that this is supposed to be a space fantasy and we’re supposed to stretch our imaginations, but there’s no way even a Jedi would survive five seconds on a planet like that. To that point; the fight between Anakin and Kenobi there is the most overrated thing in this entire franchise. Talk about overdoing it… Last, but most certainly not least, Palpatine’s plan is fucking stupid. I’m not even gonna try to start to explain this! Just go watch the RedLetterMedia review. I may not agree with every single thing they say these days, but they did a good job breaking this whole nonsensical plan down.
The Clone Wars (2008-2014, 2020)
THE GOOD: The best and most important thing about this show is that it captures the pulpy “spirit of adventure” of Star Wars 1977. We’re not dealing with family drama or any of that crap here. We’re visiting new worlds and having fun. We’re doing what we should be doing in the Star Wars universe. The best way this show accomplishes this is by understanding one fundamental thing: the “war” in Star Wars is just supposed to be the backdrop. It’s just a means to an end, to “connect the dots” of the plot together. The best episodes of the show are always the ones that start off with a battle of some kind that results in the heroes getting stranded on a remote world with weird creatures, or something to that effect. Another great thing about the show is the anthology structure. It takes a little getting used to at first, but with time, you realize that Star Wars in general is best told as an anthology anyways. Furthermore, the animation from Season 2 onward is great (and it gets better with each and every season!). Also, as many others have pointed out, this show fixes a ton of issues from the prequel trilogy. Suddenly, the clones feel like real characters, and everything involving them starts to make a little more sense. The best fix though is with Anakin. He becomes a much better character now, thanks to this show! Padme is better here as well. In addition to improved old characters, the new ones introduced by the show are also solid. That being said, I found myself liking Ahsoka less as she became more “jaded.” I get that this was done to show her growth, as well as explain her absence from the future films, though I feel it was a bit overdone. She’s great aside from that, though.
THE BAD: For starters; the theatrically-released film that introduced this series to the world made no sense as a film. As most people know by now, it was originally the first few episodes of the show, stitched together into a movie and released in theaters as a last-minute request from Lucas himself (oh, George!). That being said, once you get passed the fact that it was treated as a “real movie,” it’s not so bad. Moving on; as much as I hate to admit it, the first half of Season 1 kinda sucks. The animation is shit, and half of the music is techno, for some strange reason. Thankfully, the music got better in the second half of Season 1, and by Season 2, the animation had improved as well. That being said, a problem that plagues the entire show is the fact that the politics are just way too complex. It was hard to follow along what was going on from a political perspective most of the time. The fact that the episodes of the first three seasons are all out of order is also annoying (apparently this was also a Lucas thing). The last thing I’ll say here is that sometimes this show just simply tries way too hard to be as “epic” as the movies. The biggest examples of this are the (overrated) Mortis arc in Season 3, and the Yoda arc in Season 6. Also, this is the neither a good or bad point, but it was while watching this show when I realized the way the hologram calls work in this universe seems to be a bit inconsistent, cause sometimes the caller can see what’s around them in the place they’re calling to, and sometimes they can’t. Oh well…
Let’s stop there for now.
Peace!
2023 UPDATE: Wait, wasn’t Padme trying to stop the creation of a Republic army at the beginning of Attack? Yet another subplot in that film that just “fizzles out.” Also, wouldn’t she be pissed at Jar Jar for giving Palpatine emergency powers, in that case? And why does Natalie Portman no longer use the “formal” (British) accent when talking to other government officials in Attack and Revenge? She does it in Phantom…
Click here for Part 2.
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