My "About You Music"

  I saw this new trend going around on the Topster subreddit called “About You Music,” which asks people to pick different albums for different categories (favorite overall, best cover art, etc.). I don’t actually use Topster templates, so I figured I might as well just list out all my picks here instead, providing a quick explanation for each…

So here’s another pointless list of mine:

Favorite album

Guns N’ Roses - Appetite for Destruction (1987)

At this point I really just consider this album my favorite cause it was my “gateway drug” into being a metalhead when I was a kid. That said, even now, I still feel like every song on here sounds like it could’ve been a hit single.

Best narrative

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication (1999)

I know when most people think of albums with strong narratives, they’d choose something like Pink Floyd’s The Wall (1979) or even The Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness (1995) over this. And while I love those other albums too, there’s something about the way the songs are ordered on this one that really “takes me on a journey” to California and back (which singer Anthony Keidis said was the intention anyway). This isn’t even my favorite Chili Peppers album (not anymore at least), but I definitely think it’s the closest they’ve ever come to making a “concept album,” in the traditional sense.

Favorite cover

Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here (1975)

This cover art is just simply badass. There’s nothing more striking than watching a man shake hands with another man who’s on fire. He’s saying goodbye to a friend who’s dying (literally and/or figuratively), wishing that friend could stay.

I’ll listen someday

David Bowie - Blackstar (2016)

Everyone says this is the best “farewell” album of all time (Bowie apparently already knew he was dying when he made this). Not sure why I haven’t gotten around to it yet, but I will.

Personal impact

White Zombie - Astro-Creep: 2000 (1995)

I’ve said elsewhere on this blog that this album is basically what gets me up in the morning. It’s pure caffeine for my ears.

Bad day cure

Red Hot Chili Peppers - By the Way (2002)

When I think of a “bad day cure,” I think of something that’s beautiful, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything more beautiful than this album, though The Smashing Pumpkins’ Siamese Dream (1993) comes close. Nevertheless, even people who absolutely despise the Chili Peppers admit that this album is good.

You enjoy it but most don’t

Guns N’ Roses - Chinese Democracy (2008)

I get why most people don’t like this. It took too long to make, it’s overproduced, it’s not even really Guns N’ Roses, and most of the songs are either too sappy or too industrial. Nevertheless, in Slash’s absence, Axl found some pretty badass guitarists to replace him (most notably Buckethead), and being a “guitar head” myself, I can’t help but enjoy this album in a guilty-pleasure sorta way.

You don’t enjoy it but most do

Slash’s Snakepit - Ain’t Life Grand (2000)

In keeping with the theme of GN’R-related albums, I’ve noticed that most diehard fans say this is Slash’s best work outside of GN’R proper, and I just don’t get it. Only about half of the songs are good, in my opinion. This is the first album Slash made after leaving GN’R, and to me, it sounds like he had yet to figure out his new identity here.

Underrated

Metallica - Hardwired… to Self-Destruct (2016)

For me, this is the album that really put Metallica back on track. I understand that it’s not as “thrashy” as Death Magnetic (2008), but that’s kinda why I like it. This was the first time since …And Justice for All (1988) where they were neither chasing specific trends, nor trying too hard to be their younger selves again. They found a solid middle ground here, one that has thankfully continued with 72 Seasons (2023).

Overrated

Metallica - Death Magnetic (2008)

Look, I don’t think this is a bad album. In fact, I have it ranked as my second-favorite album of 2008 (behind Chinese Democracy, funny enough). Furthermore, this was definitely a step in the right direction after St. Anger (2003). That said, while I felt St. Anger and the few albums that preceded it were trying too hard to “chase trends,” this entire album felt like Metallica saying “look everyone, we sounds like the 80’s again! Please like us again!!” Nothing new here, really. For better or worse, it’s Metallica’s The Force Awakens.

Not usually my thing but…

Michael Jackson - Thriller (1982)

Probably my favorite non-rock album of all time. Don’t even know what to say about it that hasn’t already been said. It’s just simply awesome.

Best instrumental

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium (2006)

I assume by “instrumental,” Topster doesn’t mean a purely-instrumental album, but rather the instrumental layer of an album. If I’m wrong, then replace this with Buckethead’s Claymation Courtyard (2014). If I’m right, then I would like to state that John Fusciante’s work on here is probably the best guitar tracks I’ve ever heard in my life (I’ve said that elsewhere on this blog, but can’t say it enough). In fact, I’m listening to the isolated guitar tracks while I write this (as I do for most of my longer blog posts).

Best vocals

Soundgarden - Superunknown (1994)

Whenever I listen to Chris Cornell’s voice on here, I can’t help but think “how the fuck does he do that?!”

Simple but fun

The Beatles - A Hard Day’s Night (1964)

Of all the early Beatles albums, where they prioritized short, simple love songs, this is easily my favorite. Not sure why. Just something fun about it.

Best mixtape

n/a

While I like some hip-hop (Outkast, Eminem, NWA, Dr. Dre, Run the Jewels, etc.), I’m not familiar enough with mixtape culture to make a fair call here.

Consistent discography

Alice in Chains

Not only was original vocalist Layne Staley one of the best of all time, but the band somehow managed to continue making great music even after his death (not quite as good, but almost as good). The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here (2013) is the only AiC album I feel mixed about. Everything else they’ve done has basically been gold, as far as I’m concerned.

Biggest letdown

Velvet Revolver - Libertad (2007)

For those who don’t know, Velvet Revolver was basically just Guns N’ Roses with a different singer (in other words, what the other oldschool members of GN’R were doing while Axl was taking forever to make Chinese Democracy with other people). I loved the first Velvet album, Contraband (2004), so I was pretty stoked for this one, as I was still a kid at the time, at the peak of my GN’R fandom. Sadly, right away I could tell something was wrong with this LP. I only ended up liking about half of the songs, and my opinion hasn’t changed much since.

Biggest surprise

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Unlimited Love (2022)

When it was announced that Frusciante was rejoining this band (again) in 2019, I was pretty pumped. The thought of him making a new album with them is basically what got me through covid. Then the first three singles leading up to the album’s release came along, and while all those songs have grown on me now, I felt pretty lukewarm about them at the time. So when it came time to listen to the rest of the record, I was pretty nervous, to say the least. Thankfully, I ended up loving all of the other fourteen songs upon first listen. My overall experience with this album ended up being a nice combination of surprise and relief, which is something I don’t think I’ve really felt before, or since.

Best soundtrack

Lin-Manuel Miranda - Hamilton (2015)

I assume vocal albums count here. If not, then replace this one with John Williams’ soundtrack for Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980).

Most unique

Mr. Bungle - Mr. Bungle (1991)

I don’t even know where to start with this one. You’ll just have to listen to it for yourself.

Favorite band

Red Hot Chili Peppers

I understand why these guys aren’t for everyone, but I think the reason I like them so much is that they have a huge catalog that feels consistent, yet varied. If I wanna listen to something chill, I got By the Way, or the Josh-era albums. If I wanna listen to something epic (especially in terms of guitar), I got Blood Sugar Sex Magik or Stadium Arcadium. If I wanna listen to something that sounds kinda like a concept album, I got Californication. If I wanna listen to something a bit  heavier, I got Mother’s Milk or One Hot Minute. If I wanna listen to something “punky,” I got The Uplift Mofo Party Plan. If I wanna listen to pure funk, I got Freaky Styley. And that’s not even factoring in the b-sides, non-album singles, etc.

Favorite solo artist

Michael Jackson

Not really sure how to explain this one. I just find his music, voice, etc. to be on another level. I guess I also like that he always challenged himself to be different every time he made a new album. Shit, I even like 2001’s Invincible!

Best EP

Alice in Chains - Sap (1992)

I consider Jar of Flies (1994) to be a full-length album (it has seven songs and is over half an hour long after all), hence why I’m picking Sap here instead. Either way, they both showcase just how great and diverse Alice in Chains can really be.

Most depressing

John Frusciante - Smile from the Streets You Hold (1997)

This was the album Frusciante made when he was at his absolute lowest with drugs, poverty, etc. Right from the opening screams, you can tell that he’s crying out for help, and you can feel his pain across nearly all 17 songs on here (or 18, since the title track was split into two songs on later pressings, for some reason).

Well, that was a nice way to waste a Saturday.

Peace!

Related: List Repository

The Case for Drawing

Awhile back I mentioned how I started using the Freeform app on my phone to do small, “raw” drawings as a form of therapy. I had called this “visual journaling” at the time, but really, it’s just drawing…

When I first talked about it, I referred to it as just something I would do every now and then on the side, but recently, it has actually become my primary form of self-therapy. Lately, for reasons I don’t quite understand, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would do if I were a kid again in certain scenarios, or what I’d do if I had a kid of my own, in said scenario. I could be wrong, but I think it’s my subconscious telling me to “connect” to my core child within, somehow, and since I used to draw practically all the time as kid, I figured that doing so again made sense. Also, some thoughts and feelings are just easier to express as images rather than words anyways…

Applications like the aforementioned Freeform make drawing on the spot easier than ever now. That said, I think using traditional means of drawing are perfectly fine too. In fact, I would even recommend just imagining drawings in one’s mind. Similar to the mental journaling I’ve talked about before, actually. Sometimes even just drawing and/or imaging a singular word or acronym can be enough to put oneself at ease in the moment, depending on the situation…

Now that I’ve been doing these Freeform drawings for awhile, I can admit that I’ve already forgotten what some of my own drawings were supposed to represent in the first place. I don’t really see this as an issue, though. As long as a drawing was able to help you get through a stressful situation back when said drawing was first made, it doesn’t matter if you then forget whatever the initial stress trigger was down the road. In fact, forgetting stress triggers is a good thing. And if those same triggers come back later on, just make new drawings…

I can also admit that all of my drawings look childish, but again, I don’t consider this a problem. It’s not like I’m planning to ever share any of these. Besides, the whole point of this exercise is to feel connected to the innocence of one’s youth, so having drawings that look rather childish is kind of the point. That said, if you have the talent to draw something that looks more “adult,” then by all means, go for it…

I should probably also take this opportunity to address the stigma associated with drawing. While said stigma does indeed exist, like most things, you just have to learn to not care about it. Again, a lot of this is about connecting back to childhood, and one of the good things about being a little kid is that, at that age, you don’t really give a fuck what anyone thinks (yet). In a lot of ways, our childhood is our “core.” The kid you once were is you in your purest form. This doesn’t mean to always be childish, mind you. There’s a time and a place for everything. I guess if the childhood logic doesn’t work for you, then another way of thinking about it is to remember that drawing is one of humanity’s oldest forms of self-expression and/or therapy, dating all the way to cave drawings…

As always, I hope my constant rambling about mental health on this blog is able to help someone, somehow…

Peace!

PS: Something I almost forgot to mention is that some humans apparently have a hard time “visualizing” things in their heads. For these people, I recommend sticking to journaling/poetry, or something like music, since that’s another one of humanity’s oldest artforms.

UPDATE: I just do mental journaling now, and use the reminders app on my phone to keep track of a few small things, but I still use notebooks for stream-of-consciousness stuff, and still do visual journaling now and then.

Lunch Meeting: A Sci-Fi Short Story

 LUNCH MEETING

Henry N. Silva

I sat at the restaurant in the airport, and not too long after, the stranger who contacted me had arrived, taking his seat across from mine…

STRANGER: Nice to finally meet you in person. Always been a big fan of your podcast.

ME: Thanks… Hey, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but is this actually gonna be worth it? I didn’t really have anywhere I needed to fly to, and this restaurant is after the security checkpoint, so I had to book a flight for no reason.

STRANGER: Yeah, sorry about that. I needed this conversation to happen somewhere unexpected. Your phone’s off, right?

ME: Yeah, phone’s off. So what’s this all about, then?

STRANGER: Well, I’ve been following your show for a long time, and all your UFO conspiracy talk, and I thought you deserved to know what I know.

ME: You… know stuff? Like what?

STRANGER: Well, I’ll start with this. Most accounts you hear about are BS. Even the ones accompanied by pics and videos are usually fake… But every now and then, a real one gets out there. Remember the one with the alien being interviewed?

ME: Yeah… That’s… That’s real?

STRANGER: It’s real.

ME: So that’s what they look like? Naked people with big heads and big eyes and human-like skin?

STRANGER: Yup. That’s why the one spotted in Brazil that one time was described the same way. Human-looking skin and all. That’s one of the other few cases that’s actually real.

ME: So why do they all look like that then?

STRANGER: So this is where it gets complicated… The aliens are not actually aliens.

ME: They’re inter-dimensional?

STRANGER: No, that’s not it either… Let me ask you something. If you had a Time Machine, where would you go?

ME: The future.

STRANGER: But the past too, right?

ME: Sure.

STRANGER: Would you go as far back as before humans existed? To observe pre-human species?

ME: Yeah, I’d probably wanna do that too, just for curiosity’s sake, and… Oh.

STRANGER: Yup… That’s what they are. That’s why they’re here. That’s why they don’t ever expose themselves publicly. Or try not to, at least. They’re just coming to visit and watch us like we’re zoo animals. They’re just interested in taking a quick look at their great great great great great grandparents… Add a few more greats… A few dozen more, actually…

ME: Umm… That explains the human skin, I guess… But why the big eyes and big bald heads? Why are they naked?!

STRANGER: Big head because they’re smart. Big eyes for wider vision range. It’s a genetic engineering thing. That’s why they’re naked too. They’re genetically-engineered to be able to heat their bodies from the inside out at will. The skin is genetically engineered to be more protective too. They don’t need clothes. And that’s why they don’t have muscles either. Why would you need to work out if your skin is already indestructible? Why worry about your health when all you need is chemicals and robotics to stay alive for practically as long as you could ever want?

ME: But why is the one in the interview video so short?

STRANGER: It’s a kid.

ME: Whoa… Does the super skin or whatever have something to do with why they’re hairless?

STRANGER: Now you’re getting it! Yeah, they see hair as just a vulnerability.

ME: Wow… I don’t know what to say… Wait, if they’re so healthy, then why is the one being interviewed sick?

STRANGER: He’s not sick. He’s stressed. Do you think he wanted to get caught by us? Evolved people in the future can have panic attacks too, you know… Oh, speaking of the interview, you notice how he isn’t actually moving his mouth or making any vocalizations, right?

ME: Yeah?

STRANGER: Also genetic engineering. They all have devices in their brain that let them talk without talking, and learn without learning… You don’t believe any of this, do you?

ME: Not at all, no.

STRANGER: Yeah, I knew you wouldn’t… But the next time you hear about some new development in robotics or genetic engineering or quantum physics on the news, just keep this conversation in mind…

ME: Uh…

STRANGER: Have you had a chance to look at the menu yet, by the way? Anything look good?

Related: Fiction Repository

More Tips for Mental Journaling

  Awhile back I wrote about a thing I like to call mental journaling, as an alternative to normal journaling. This is basically where you just simply imagine words in your mind, rather than actually writing or typing them out.

Since writing that post, I have had some new “revelations,” if you will, about the subject, and figured it was time for a follow-up post. With that, here you go:

5 minutes per day (alongside real journaling)

Over the last few months, I have come to realize that physical journaling and mental journaling each have their own unique set of pros and cons. For instance, physical journaling is great for keeping track of things numerically (in my case, the number of days since I started my diet), while setting aside specific time daily to practice mental journaling can help to reinforce that “muscle” in your brain, so to speak. That way, if you’re ever in a stressful situation and want to journal but can’t do so for real (out with friends, etc.), you’re better prepared to mentally journal instead, thanks to daily practice. Therefore, I feel it’s best to do BOTH forms of journaling daily. I usually get my physical journaling out of the way in the morning (I detailed that process here), and then set aside 5 minutes in the evening for mental journaling, and during this time, I make sure to avoid all other distractions (TV, music, phone, etc.) as much as possible.

“Rapid” mental journaling in loud situations

Unfortunately, some scenarios are gonna be so loud and stressful to the point where normal mental journaling will be difficult. For these cases, I’ve gotten into the habit of just doing very simple, “rapid” journaling in my head, where I just focus on one or a few words at a time and tell myself things like “fuuuuuck” or “god dammit” or whatever.

Same goes for flashbacks/ fits of anger

I find that the “rapid” mental journaling described right above can also be beneficial for bad flashbacks/ intrusive thoughts. I used to have a habit of screaming “fuck” really loud, or something to that effect, when a bad memory appears in my head out of nowhere, but thankfully this habit has been declining ever since I started mental journaling more, and specifically rapid mental journaling.

Vague formats

I said in my first mental journaling post that I sometimes like to imagine the words being typed out in a word processor in my head, while other times I like to imagine them being handwritten in cursive (since that’s what I do for physical journaling anyways). Lately, however, I’ve started to imagine the words in a “vague, wavy” sorta format. It’s hard to explain, really, but I felt the need to address this so that you’d know that it’s okay to use the limitless potential of your mind to imagine forms of wording that can’t really exist in reality. In fact, I’d almost recommend it above the more “realistic” forms of imagining the words, at this point.

Song lyrics

When all else fails, I like to also just simply sing songs in my head, and imagine the lyrics being typed out in my mind as I do.

…Well, once again, hopefully some of this helped at least someone.

Peace!

UPDATE: I just do mental journaling now, and use the reminders app on my phone to keep track of a few small things, but I still use notebooks for stream-of-consciousness stuff, and still do visual journaling now and then.

Related: List Repository

Guilty Conscience: A Sci-Fi Short Story

 GUILTY CONSCIENCE

Henry N. Silva

The scientist and his assistant wait patiently in the alley…

“You sure this is where he said to meet?” The assistant asks.

His mentor nods in assurance, “Positive.”

Not too long after, an older man emerges. A man whom the assistant only knows as the terrorist.

“Did you do what I asked?” The older man snarls.

“Yessir,” the scientist hands the terrorist the suitcase he had been carrying. “Used the leftover uranium you gave us to make exactly what you wanted.”

The terrorist takes hold of the suitcase, “If this bomb turns out to be fake, you and your family are done for, yah hear?”

“No need to worry.”

“So what’re yah making with all that extra uranium anyways?”

“A time machine.”

“Ha, that’s rich!” The terrorist bellows, before turning around and leaving…

The assistant then turns towards his mentor, “Did you really just give him a real bomb?”

“Sure did.”

“How do you not have a guilty conscience about that?!”

“Like I said… No need to worry.”

***

The terrorist makes his way towards the amusement park, suitcase in hand…

Suddenly, a flurry of police officers surround him, “Freeze!”

Among them is the scientist himself…

“You?!” The terrorist shakes his head in disbelief, “How?!”

“I waited until you would try to detonate the bomb, to see where you’d be and when,” the scientist explains. “Then I went back in time to stop you.”

Related: Fiction Repository

The Choice: A Narrative Poem

 THE CHOICE

A Narrative Poem

Henry N. Silva

Midland; where day meets night and where night meets day

Where magic and science become one

Gio takes it all in, knowing this day will be his last there

He takes in the perfect sky and weather

Not too bright or dark, not too hot or cold

He looks upon all the wonderful machines

Aided ever-so-slightly by magic

The limited land which everyone wants

Which is exactly why he must now go…

His superior stands before him

“Sorry,” the brooding man says, plainly

“We can no longer afford to employ you”

“But I have no family,” Gio sighs

“How can I stay?” He asks, despite knowing the answer

“You can’t,” the older man responds bluntly,

Raising his arms in opposite directions, “Now you must choose.”

Gio looks through the clear, virtual shields protecting Midland

Far into the east, he sees Nightland

Where bright spots of magic pierce through the darkness

Far into the west, he sees Dayland

Where cities stand tall, beneath the eternal sun

The magic and mythic creatures of the night entice him

As does the advanced technology of the day,

More advanced than anything else he has known in his two decades alive

He looks back at his former employer, “Is magic hard to master?”

The older man raises an eyebrow, “Have you ever tried it?”

Gio sighs again, “Yes… It was fun… But hard…

I think I’ve made my choice.”

He points to the west, and then instantly wonders;

Did I choose right?

TEN YEARS LATER

Gio awakens in his small, rundown home…

Through his window shades, he sees the eternal light of Dayland

Grunting, he stumbles out of bed,

Doing his best to ignore the industrial sounds outdoors…

He looks up at a bought painting on his wall,

Depicting a wizard of light and a wizard of darkness

He gazes at the hero, lamenting what he did not strive for

His eyes then move over to the villain of the piece,

As he wonders if he would have become that instead…

“Things could always be worse, I suppose…”

He had always thought about trying to paint as well,

But always told himself “Some other time!”

As usual, he steps out into the streets,

Heading towards his mundane work of fixing machines

On his way, he finds a homeless man, drawing in a notebook

“Did someone buy that for you?” Gio can’t help but ask

“No,” the hoodlum responds. “Bought it with the money I had left”

Gio raises an eyebrow, “May I ask why?”

“Helps me live with the choices that ruined my life…

That’s all life is ever about, right?

Finding a way to live with the choices you make!”

Related: Poetry Repository