Sunday, October 13, 2024

My Favorite Distractions

  A while back I wrote about how journaling has really improved my mental health. That said, there are other things I do to distract myself from the “rough spots” in life, and figured I might as well share those here too…

So here we go:


Music

Figured it made sense to start with this one, cause it’s no-brainer. Listening to music is a part of everyone’s lives, and for some of us, playing music helps too. While I no longer write my own songs, I still “jam” on my guitar at least a little every day.


Little games

By “little” I mean stuff like Tetris, Solitaire, Wordle, etc. Basically just easy stuff that’s universally accepted as “low-risk.” Studies show that these kinds of games can be quite therapeutic, as a matter of fact! Make no mistake, though: If you’re prone to “gamer rage,” you might still get that even from these kinds of games, at least to a certain extent… Oh yeah, and for solitaire in particular, I like to alternate between easy mode and hard.


Making lists

Meta, I know! But seriously, I’ve found over the years that making lists can be pretty relaxing for me, and I’ve heard others say the same. Doesn’t have to be a specific topic, either. While I lean towards pop culture related stuff, I can make lists of pretty much anything. You don’t need to look further than my list repository to see that. In fact, I recently made a food list, of all things!


Mind games

What I mean by this is little games that you play entirely in your head. My favorite example of this is “track-by-tracks” (a term coined by a YouTuber I follow called Almost Human). This is where you take two different albums that have the same number of tracks and do “song vs. song” for Track 1, Track 2, and so on, and then add up all the points in the end to see which album wins. Basically any other variation of comparing one thing to another applies here too.


Muscle relaxation through “mentalizing”

This is actually a technique that’s mainly used by the military, to help them fall asleep faster/ in uncomfortable conditions, but I find that it can also help with simply de-stressing during the day too. Basically, you start by picking a spot on your body (usually somewhere on your face like your nose or the inside of your mouth, but starting from your fingers or toes works too). Then you think about all the different little muscle fibers in that particular area, and imagine those fibers “loosening up.” Then, continue that process through different parts of your body, until you fall asleep (or feel relaxed). This is basically an advanced form of “counting sheep.”


“Survival mode”

This is simply the act of reminding yourself that the most important thing in life is simply just to survive in the present moment. Humans need three things to survive: Food, water, and shelter. Constantly remind yourself that you have those things, and if you don’t, figure out what you need to do to get them. If it helps, pretend your life is a livestream, or reality show of some kind, and constantly narrate to yourself in your head as you do the things you need to for survival. Even sleep is technically something we need to survive, so I find that narrating to myself “I’m going to sleep now cause I need to” in my head also helps (in addition to the muscle technique mentioned above).


“Easy” watching

As one might expect, this is just simply the act of watching TV or videos that don’t require too much attention or investment. Your favorite game show, your favorite cooking show, your favorite YouTuber, your favorite movie series or TV show that you continue to marathon over and over cause it’s comforting for one reason or another… You get the idea…


Tea

Caffeinated tea is both energizing yet also relaxing, thanks to the amino acid L-theanine. Alternatively, herbal tea can also be relaxing, for a variety of other reasons. I’ve recently gotten into a new routine where I drink caffeinated tea in the morning, followed by herbal tea in the afternoon, and then herbal tea again in the evening. Just the act of preparing tea alone (in addition to preparing meals, of course) gives me something to “focus” on. An additional “purpose” for getting through the day, if you will. I think hot drinks in particular work for this reason cause you have to drink them slowly.


Looking for patterns

I saved this one for the near end cause it’s not really something I do anymore, but felt it was worth noting anyways. This task just simply entails looking for patterns all around you. Count how many pens happen to be on the table in front of you right now. Focus on the seams on the blanket on your bed. Look out the window and see how many cars (or cars of a particular color) pass by over the next minute or so. Stuff like that. Again, I eventually burnt out on this one, but for at least a little bit of time, it helped me a lot.


Multitasking

This basically just means doing one or more of the things above. In fact, just the other day I was listening to a live stream while playing solitaire and occasionally looking over at my TV on mute. This sorta thing may be frowned upon by some, but personally, if multitasking doesn’t burn you out, I think there’s nothing wrong with it.


As I wrap up here, I’d like to make one more point: Whatever you decide to do to distract yourself in a healthy way, if you’re still not “feeling it,” treat it like work. Pretend like you have to do it. I guess it goes with the whole “pretend your life is a reality show” bullshit…


…Well, thank you for indulging me once again!


Peace!

Saturday, October 12, 2024

My Favorite Foods Per Culture

  Continuing my journey to make as many pointless lists as possible, I thought it’d be fun to do something food related this time…


So here:


Mexican - quesadillas with sour cream


Chinese - beef and broccoli with white rice


Portuguese - grilled chicken with fries


English - full English breakfast


Italian - pizza


American - hot dog w/ mustard & relish


German - bratwurst with sauerkraut


Indian - chicken tikka masala (or butter chicken) with rice and garlic naan


Japanese - hibachi


French - French onion soup


Spanish - paella


Greek - gyros


Thai - pad thai


HONORABLE MENTIONS:


Mexican - burrito bowl


Chinese - sesame/ orange chicken with white rice


Portuguese - Prego no Prato (basically a steak with an egg on it)


English - blueberry scones or bangers & mash


Italian - pasta


American - hamburger with mayonnaise and ketchup


German - pork schnitzel


Indian - curry


Japanese - sushi


French - potatoes au gratin


Spanish - tapas (in general)


Greek - Greek salad


Thai - green or yellow curry


…Welp, now I’m hungry!


Peace!


Related: List Repository

Friday, October 11, 2024

South Park: Best Episode Per Season

  Got bored and decided to make another useless list. I did a similar list here (scroll to the bottom), so expect some overlap with that one and this…


Anyway, here:


Season 1: Cartman’s Mom Is a Dirty Slut

Season 2: Cartman’s Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut

Season 3: Chinpokomon

Season 4: Fat Camp

Season 5: Butters’ Very Own Episode

Season 6: The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers

Season 7: Casa Bonita

Season 8: The Jeffersons

Season 9: Erection Day

Season 10: Tsst

Season 11: Cartman Sucks

Season 12: Over Logging

Season 13: Dances with Smurfs

Season 14: The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs

Season 15: HumancentiPad

Season 16: I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining

Season 17: The Hobbit

Season 18: Cock Magic

Season 19: You’re Not Yelping

Season 20: Member Berries

Season 21: Put It Down

Season 22: Tegridy Farms

Season 23: Band in China

Season 24: The Pandemic Special

Season 25: Pajama Day

Season 26: Cupid Ye


Peace!


Related: List Repository

Friday, September 20, 2024

Sequels Better Than the First

  When you hear people talk about “the best movie sequels of all time,” chances are they’re probably talking about one of these (in no particular order):

Aliens, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, The Godfather Part II, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, The Dark Knight, Batman Returns, Back to the Future Part II, Inside Out 2, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery, Superman 2, X2, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade


But while I agree that the above are all great movies, I wouldn’t necessarily say they’re “better than the first one.” That said, the other day I stumbled upon a Reddit thread asking exactly that (“What sequel films are better than the first?”). Seeing this thread led me to making my own list of installments that I actually think fit this criteria. And just to make things more interesting, I thought it’d be fun to break this list out by decade (and arrange the films within each decade in order of release). And mind you, I’m not saying any of the movies below are better than the ones listed above. All I’m saying that the ones you’re about to see are better than the movies that kicked off their respective franchises. For instance, Shrek 2 is better than Shrek, but neither of them are better than Aliens, and Aliens itself is not better than Alien. You get it?


…Well anyway, here you go:


1960’s and onward

A bunch of James Bond films (not even gonna bother trying to list them)


1980’s

Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation


1990’s

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

Patriot Games

Star Trek: First Contact (as a sequel to Star Trek: Generations)

Clear and Present Danger

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

Desperado

Toy Story 2


2000’s

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Shrek 2

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince


2010’s

Toy Story 3

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

The Wolverine (as a sequel to X-Men Origins: Wolverine)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

X-Men: Days of Future Past (either version)

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Mad Max: Fury Road (as a distant sequel to Mad Max 1979)

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (as a sequel to Man of Steel)

John Wick: Chapter 2

Logan (as a threequel to X-Men Origins: Wolverine)

War for the Planet of the Apes

Thor: Ragnarok

Justice League (as a threequel to Man of Steel)

Avengers: Infinity War

Deadpool 2 (any version)

Mission: Impossible - Fallout

Spider-Man: Far From Home (as a sequel to Spider-Man: Homecoming)


2020’s

Zack Snyder’s Justice League (as a threequel to Man of Steel)

The Suicide Squad (as a sequel to Suicide Squad)

Spider-Man: No Way Home (as a threequel to Spider-Man: Homecoming)

Top Gun: Maverick

Avatar: The Way of Water

John Wick: Chapter 4

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (as a distant sequel to Mad Max 1979)


So as you can see, aside from James Bond, all of the decades before the 2010’s only have a handful of sequels that I consider to be genuinely better than their first installment counterparts. I guess this makes sense though, when you really think about it. After all, franchises as we now know them didn’t really become a thing until rather recently. In fact, I’m pretty sure the term “cinematic universe” didn’t even exist until Marvel kicked off their own, which didn’t happen until 2008… For what it’s worth, though, I don’t think we will ever have a decade like the 2010’s ever again (for better or worse).


Something else to consider here is that a lot of the films that made this list were only able to do so because they were following-up mediocre first installments anyways, whereas the more highly-regarded sequels mentioned at the very top of this post are clearly better films, because they already had greatness to build on top of, even if they didn’t completely match said greatness…


Well, that was fun! I haven’t made a pointless list in awhile anyways…


Peace!


UPDATE: Just so it’s clear, I didn’t include the Star Trek film from 2009 cause I consider that one to be a reboot, rather than a sequel.


Related: List Repository


Wednesday, August 14, 2024

Learning to be ok with my name and not beat myself up for rewatching Parks&Rec

  In continuing with my new indefinite “project” of interviewing my friends about their own takes on mental health and whatnot, today’s subject is a woman by the name of Shalome.

And here you all go:


1.Like me, you sometimes go by different names (Emma, Shay, etc.). Are you sometimes ashamed of having a "weird" real first name (like I am)? Or is it just more convenient to go by "easier" names sometimes? For the record, I think Shalome is a nice name, but I remember seeing someone make fun of your name right to your face, so dealing with that kind of stuff must be hard sometimes, right? Or are you not self-conscious about it?


I really love this question, I feel so seen. 


I do feel a lot of shame and confusion around my name. The thing that bothers me most is that I feel like I can't answer the question of how I got my name without divulging my whole family's history and religious beliefs. My name is a very religious and spiritual word, so it doesn't really pave the way for a fun, casual conversation when I first meet someone. Usually, the first time I meet someone they ask me if I'm Jewish. So within seconds of meeting new people I have to dive right into a conversation about religion. It can be uncomfortable for them and is definitely uncomfortable for me. I don't judge people though, I might do the same thing if I were in their shoes. Most people are genuinely curious and don't mean anything by it. I've also had one Jewish person assume that I was Jewish and start talking to me about temple and their traditions like I would know what they were saying, and then I had to be like "sorry I don't know what that means." Cringe. 


The story of how I got my name won't make sense to most people. If you were raised in an evangelical/born again type of environment, you might get it. But for most people - if I were to try and tell them that my dad named me because of a vision he had during prayer - it raises more questions than answers. 


My family on my dad's side is very religious/spiritual in different ways. My dad's dad is very much an evangelical born again Christian type of person. His ex wife, my dad's mom, quite literally was a  medium who believed she could speak with the dead and specialized in communicating with the virgin Mary. 


My mom's side of the family is also Christian, but in more of a happy hippie sort of way, where they believe that Jesus taught about love and sharing your belongings, and they feel like he would have been a feminist had he come to Earth today. 


As you can probably guess, there was somewhat of a culture clash between my mom and my dad's side of the family, primarily because of religion and the different ways that they interpreted the bible and also used their religion. Without diving into the tragic backstory too much, I'll just say this: one side of my family used their faith to shame me, make me feel small, and make me feel lost. The other side of my family used their faith to encourage me, lift me up, and make me feel important. I'll let you guess which was which. 


I was the first born kid/grandkid on either side of the family, and though my dad named me, I think that my name reflects a lot of the complicated religious history on both sides of my family.


A name is a central part of someone's self identity, but it can be hard to feel like I can embrace my name or fully connect with it, because it carries so much baggage and that can feel heavy - especially when I'm just trying to casually introduce myself to someone. 


When most people ask me the meaning behind my name, I just tell them that I do have Jewish heritage and my parents wanted to honor that, which is also true (my mom was close with her Granddad, who was Jewish, though he disavowed his faith and became a resolute atheist during WWII - see, I told you the religious history of my family was complicated!). 


It was hard, especially in adolescence/early adult hood, to not worry too much about wishing I was more "normal." I thought it was deeply embarrassing that my family was so involved with religion and spirituality in such an open way. But the older I get, the more I realize that religion and spirituality are important parts of human culture all over the world, and practicing some sort of religion or believing in something bigger than ourselves is actually pretty normal and is sometimes just part of being human. I've kind of come full circle and have been more comfortable lately with praying or exploring spiritual practices without worrying that it's weird. I also don't care quite as much anymore what other people think. If people want to judge me for having a complicated name, there's not much I can do about it, and I just try to tell myself now that other people's opinions aren't really my problem. 


However, I will say this - I use Emma or Shay at Starbucks because it truly is just easier and faster. These baristas are already too busy, they don't need me to be standing there like "Yeah so it's S-H-A..." 


Last thing I'll say about my name is that it's a lot easier to introduce myself in professional circles than social events. At a professional meeting, I introduce myself, and we move on. Done and done. It's kind of great. 


2.Another thing we have in common is that you tried blogging several years ago, but kinda gave up on it due to criticisms and whatnot. Have you ever thought about trying it again? Possibly under one of your pseudonyms this time, to avoid that sorta criticism directly?


I might do that! I do really love writing, especially fiction. But my propensity is to actually write more about stuff I want to get off my chest - it usually ends up being political. 


My biggest fears about writing for the pubic again is that I won't be able to stop myself from writing negative, angry articles - and I'm not sure how that really benefits anyone. I used to think I was sharing my ideas about justice and creating positive change. But when one of these articles blew up, it didn't feel like it was making people's lives better. It just felt like it was ruining my life and barely affecting other people's lives. I wrote to connect with people and feel like I was finding my place in the world. But my brush with "fame" (not really) left me much more brokenhearted and untethered than I believe I would have been had I decided not to publish. People left hundreds of angry comments and one person even wrote a counter-article talking about how much my words had hurt her feelings. I felt terrible about that. I took that to heart, and I learned my lesson, and I stopped publishing my work. 


The thing I miss most about blogging isn't watching the number of readers climb up on my Medium stats page (though that was fun). It was actually the Facebook messages and texts that I would get from friends who had read my work after it went live. Some of my life's most treasured memories are those of friends and family saying that I encouraged them, or that my words brought them comfort in some way, or helped them feel less alone. It was great to hear that I could affect people's lives in a positive way. 


I have been thinking lately about if there's anything I can do to balance my public writing life - maybe I only release the positive stuff, and keep the more angry rants to myself. Maybe I'll have a trusted friend or family member read my stuff before I publish it, so they can be the angel on my shoulder guiding me in the right direction, and those mishaps don't happen again. Maybe I'll just use a pseudonym, or it might be a combination of those three methods. I'll let ya know! 


3.Not too long ago, I interviewed your husband Ken. I've noticed over these last several years that you both have a lot in common, but also a lot of different interests as well. Would you say some differences like that are actually healthy for a relationship?


Absolutely! I think it helps us learn from each other. We've been together a long time now, almost exactly 9 years, and what I've noticed is that there are some things that we have in common, and it's those things we talk about the most often, like we both love music and we have similar music taste most of the time. Then there are some things we don't have in common but we can potentially be interested in them, and we can show each other new skills/hobbies, like I taught Ken how to sew and Ken introduced me to Anime. And it can be fun to learn those things from each other. But the reality is that Ken's not going to sew as often as I do, and I'm never going to watch as much anime as him, and that's fine. Then there are some things that we don't have in common and they're just going to be our separate hobbies and that's fine too. Like Ken will watch hours of videos about technology - for fun. Couldn't be me. I would guess he's the same about crafting. I would love nothing more than to spend a whole day making greeting/birthday cards by hand. In another life I run an Etsy for it. I don't think that would exactly be his thing (though I'm sure he'd be very good at it). 


Ultimately I think it's all about finding ways to spend time together while also knowing that if you need your own personal space or want to explore some new hobby by yourself sometimes that's fine too. 


4.Have you ever tried journaling, and if so, has it proven to be as effective for you as it has for me? If not, what other coping mechanisms for day-to-day life do you have, if any?


I definitely journal! I love journaling. I find it so important. I usually journal with a physical pen and paper rather than on my phone, which I find so grounding. It forces me to slow down a little and think about what I'm writing. And I find that if I can really put into words what's bothering me, even if it takes a long time to figure it out, the path forward usually feels much clearer, and I usually feel a little better after I journal. 


For a good five years my other coping mechanism was watching Parks and Rec on repeat. There is something so incredible about the writing on that show. It helped me not focus too much on my worries and just move forward with my day - e.g. I could fold the laundry without wondering "what's the point of folding all this laundry??" And falling into a depressive spiral - as long as I could fold laundry and watch parks and rec. 


I never ever thought I would see the day, but I finally got sick of rewatching the same thing over and over again and now I'm just lost in this big world once again with no comfort show. But journaling is great. I'll always have that. It just takes a little more work and intention than putting on my comfort show. 


5.Anything else you'd like to share as we wrap up here?


Thanks for having me on your blog! I think this series is such a great idea. This was very fun, I feel like I learned a lot about myself just in answering these questions!


Peace!